Right from the mouths of babes

By DARCIE BORDEN
Featured Blogger

From David Kerr, founder and president of Integrity House:

If you want to know why kids use drugs, or how you can tell if your teen is developing a drug habit, who better to ask than other teens?

The boys at the adolescent program at Integrity House, a drug rehabilitation center in urban Newark and Secaucus, N.J., want to arm parents with information that can help them keep their teens away from drugs.

“Adults are always saying, ‘Don’t do drugs.’ But, you want to test it and see how it feels,” said 16-year-old John (real names withheld for privacy).

The 14 other boys in the room, all ranging in age from 16-18, some from suburban homes, some from the housing projects and some with gang affiliations, all agreed that kids may not listen to their parents or teachers when it comes to saying no to drugs – BUT, they said kids will listen to other kids.

So…they want kids to hear it straight from them: “DON’T DO DRUGS, because drugs lead you to other things. It’s just a setback,” John said.
Advice to parents from teens in the know

“Don’t give your kid money. Keep them in sports. Talk to them. Spend more time with them,” said Eddy.

“Don’t get your kid involved in parent disputes. Don’t put them in the middle. They’ll just get stressed out and leave and go find trouble,” said Jorge.

“Don’t show favoritism to your kids,” said Raul.

“We might act like we don’t want to spend time with you, but we want to,” said Chris.

“If your son walks in the house sweating, pupils are huge, he can’t stop moving, won’t stop talking – he’s tripping,” said Pat.

“Kids do it because they’re curious, they want to see how it feels and are drawn to it because they’re bored, stressed, not involved in sports or other after-school activities.
And, you can find drugs anywhere. That’s why they need to be involved in something positive and off the streets,” said Jimmy.

“If he’s leaning, he’s on something more than just pot. Leanin’ is what they call it when they have a high better than pot, and they are sitting but leaning to one side,” said Dave. (Dave added that many teens find creative ways to get high, such as mixing cough medicine with Sprite or liquor. One of the boys said he would mix Hennessey cognac with six bottles of Robitussin cough syrup and red Jolly Ranchers candies.)
Advice to teens from those who’ve learned the hard way

“Stay in school. Join a sport. Stay away from gangs and drug trafficking areas,” said Dave.

“At first you don’t feel like you’re wasting money, but then you regret it,” said Tom.

“I’ve missed valuable time with my family. I didn’t realize it until I got here (Integrity House),” said Lee.
Know who your children are hanging out with

Kids who spend a lot of time with kids older than them are much more susceptible to being influenced into trying drugs and alcohol.

Danny, 17: “I started smoking pot when I was 12, right on my birthday. I was with older friends and they offered it to me and I wanted to.”

Bobby, 17: “I was already smoking cigarettes. I started smoking pot at 10 or 11 years old, because I was hanging out with older kids. It felt good.”
Signs your child may be developing a drug habit

These are the clues the Integrity House boys said parents should look for:

• Using a lot of Visine
• Buying Robitussin
• Not coming home much
• Being out at night a lot
• Avoidance, for fear of getting caught looking high
• Drinking a lot of water
• Napping a lot
• Eating everything in the refrigerator
• Red eyes
• Throwing water on his face
• Very different appetite than he normally has
• Wanting lots of salty and sweet foods at the same time
• Grades at school drastically changing
• Getting in trouble a lot
• Skipping school or classes, especially right after lunch
• Being paranoid, due to always being afraid of getting caught
• Not talking to parents as much as he used to
Things you don’t want to hear your teen say

Dave, 16: “I wish I would have stayed in school.”

Tom, 17: “I wish I would have played sports.”

Jorge, 16: “What’s wrong with me?”

Raul, 16: “I couldn’t stop myself from shaking.”

Chris, 17: “I went from As and Bs to straight Fs, and I was getting in trouble a lot.”

Does Integrity House work for them?

The boys all said the program works. The time there also made them reflect on how much time they wasted not being with their families. “I want to be with my mother,” said one. “I miss my parents,” said another.

They said if a parent discovers his child is using drugs and is thinking of placing the child in a drug treatment center, the best time to do it is during the holidays or summer when kids enjoy time at home. It’ll have an even greater impact.

When asked how they’ll manage their addiction recovery once home again, the teens agreed they will have to make different friends to avoid the drug environment, and they all said they will engage in sports.

About Integrity House:
Integrity House is celebrating its 40th year of providing substance abuse treatment and support services for over 2,000 adult and adolescent addicts annually. The groundbreaking work of Integrity House is recognized as both a national and international prototype for recovery. This non-profit treatment program is based in Newark and Secaucus, N.J.

To learn more about Integrity House, please call (973) 623-7246, or visit www.integrityhouse.org.